4 Ways to Stop Letting People Walk All Over You at Work

4 Ways to Stop Letting People Walk All Over You at Work Deadlines. New demands. Rising expectations. If youre like most accomplished professionals, you spend most of your day fighting off requests from other people. They want your time, energy and expertise. Since youre a loyal team player, youre happy to give it. Perhaps youre also the last one to leave at the end of the day and the first one to take on new responsibilities.While caring about your work is great, giving too much can deplete you quickly. As a result of chronic people pleasing, you may feel like people take advantage of your kindness and commitment. You may feel overwhelmed, overworked and unappreciated for all of the extra support you provide, which can lead to burnout and resentment.How do you break the people pleasing cycle? Heres foursteps to try1. anthroponym your underlying fear.Typically, people pleasing is the flip side of tremendous strengths like sensitivity and commitment. Your intentions to help may come fr om a good place, but its important to own up to the fears that are driving your need to please. Do you fear rejection? Failure? Simply putting a label on your fears can reduce their power over you.2. Get radically honest about what people pleasing is costing you.Ask yourself if the payoff of always being the likable or dependable one around the office is worth the consequences. Agreeing to every request can not only wear you out, but also undermine your personal integrity. You may find yourself carrying out ideas you dont truly believe in. Conversely, the ability to assert yourself appropriately, take pride in your ideas and prioritize your own needs can help you excel in your career.3. Teach others how to treat you.If you dont value your time, no one else will. Instead of making yourself overly accessible, put boundaries in place. Push back against unreasonable requests and learn to say no.Privately rehearse responses like, I have a big deadline approaching, and Im completely focus ed on that. Try asking Angela for help, or I can work on that after I complete this report. You may also want to consider establishing timeframes. For example, I am free to help on Tuesday from 10 AM until 12 PM.Practicing phrases like these will make turning down a project feel much more natural, which can alleviate concerns aboutdamaging your relationships.4. Do the opposite.If jumping in to help is your default response (even when its counterproductive or self-sabotaging), borrow a psychological technique known as opposite action. Opposite action is exactly what it sounds like. It involves redirecting unhelpful responses to healthier behavior by doing the opposite of what our emotions tells us to do. If your urge is to step in and mediate every problem, do the opposite by coaching people to take ownership of solutions themselves, for instance.Striving to make everyone happy all of the time is not sustainable. It might be possible in the short term, but ultimately, the only person you have complete control over is you. Make yourself your first priority, and youll be happier in your work and a better professional for it.--Melody Wilding is a performance coach and licensed social worker. She helps high-achievers master the mental and emotional aspects of striving for a successful career and a balanced life. Her clients are managers and leaders at places like Google, IBM, Facebook, HP, and Deloitte. She helps them gain more confidence, assertiveness, and influence. Master your emotions and improve you intern game with The 3-Step Workday Reset guide melodywilding.com/guide